Merry Something…

16 Dec

Last year I was a complete scrooge.  I didn’t want anything to do with Christmas and it felt like such a chore.  I swore this year was going go to be different.  I was going to make christmas cards, homeade gifts, cookies and try and focus on the happiness of the season.

But it seems no matter how much christmas music I blast at full speed, how creative I get about giving and how hard I try to enjoy the holidays….there is a melancholy that just takes over this time of year.

Maybe I just miss the snow.

It has something to do with being single for the holidays.  But, even more than that, the stressfull, forced mood that prevails is enough to make anyone into a scrooge.  Arguments break out over money and time, and people get upset becuase they have too many places to go, or not enough.

I miss being a child and caroling and hot cocoa and christmas music and all that was part of the magic that I can’t seem to get back.  I can do those things, but it doesn’t feel the same.  Somewhere in the back of my mind….those worries are forever creeping in.

My one redeeming grace it seems is cheesy family Christmas Movies.  You know the ones.  The made for TV, derivitive plot romances that appear in droves from Thanksgiving on.  It’s the only time I let myself relax and pretend that Christmas really does exist. 

And just nine more days and all the madness will be over!

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