For the first time in weeks I have an entire weekend to do what I want. Trust me the to do list has been building up and there are lots of things to choose from, but nothing that I must do this second, nothing that will loose a $100,000 account if it isn’t accomplished.
There is absolutely no better feeling in the world than being able to actually choose what to do with your time. I’ll admit it, I was spoiled for years….no job, free to read when I felt like it, write when I wanted, sleep when I chose. I got surprisingly little done in those 5 years.
But now that I have an extremely demanding job, everything is falling into perspective. The important things float to the top and the time wasters, just sort of drift away to sea. I was worried about losing some of my favorite activities….like naps…..but when it all comes into motion…my naps stay. They are what keeps me sane and recharge my well worn batteries. What really dissapears is things like celebrity magazines, television and playing till all hours of the night. Yes I can still go watch Grey’s Anatomy on abc.com but I’m not a slave to a schedule. Yes, I keep my satelite dvr subscription up so I can record a movie or history channel program now and then…but usually the tv is off.
Even my computer, which IS always on, is becoming more streamlined. No more lazy browsing for hours (unless it’s research for a writing project), no more belonging to 20 different yahoo groups. I still work on designing my own sites, but I’m not in a rush. When they get done, they get done. If I’m not enjoying it, it’s time to switch to something else.
And Books are starting to stack up around me again. Still reading more than one at a time…but 4 not 12 and I’m much more selective. Next weekend will be another cutting the fat weekend, selling all the books, dvds, clothes, etc that I will never touch.
This weekend though, is about figuring out me. Who I have become (heaven knows I’ve seen ALOT of transformation the last year), what I want and how to get there. It’s about managing goals….figuring out how to communicate them, and helping people understand me and my needs. I finally understand it’s okay to be selfish about some things. It’s about finding my passions again and ways to be fullfilled. It’s about being honest and learning I CAN HANDLE THIS!!!
I’m quite proud of myself actually. But maybe that’s just because I had the nap!!