Tag Archives: procrastination

Stumbling Up the Creative Path.

3 Oct

Ira Glass on Storytelling from David Shiyang Liu on Vimeo.

Wow. Had this on an auto-play loop for a while this evening.

Because…I know this.  In my head I know it.  But, my heart tends to forget it quite often.  Today procrastination was apparently my favored art-form until a friend posted this on Facebook and it hit a nerve.  In a good way.  It helped release that deep breath that I’d been holding since last week (or possibly preschool?).  The one tied to that ugly knot that tends to grow in the bottom of my stomach when anyone mentions wanting to see what it is I write. Yah that one.  That one has been especially testy since realizing that a substantial requirement for my new writing group is that we actually share what it is we are working on. {Terror}

This little reminder came at an interesting time in regards to my blogging as well. Lately,  I’ve been trying to figure out the point of all this silent screaming in the dark.  I suppose this too I knew all along*.  It’s not just getting things off my chest. It’s not simply putting something out there to see if it gets noticed. It’s certainly not about trying to impress or please anyone but myself.  It’s more about learning as I go and making this whole writing thing a little less scary because I do it every day and I get better at it as I go.  And sometimes I need to just fail and make mistakes and let things be messy.  For me that’s the hardest part.  Being brave enough to let others see those imperfections.  And yes, it’s somewhat about making connections in ways I really don’t anywhere else.  But, above all, it’s really about putting in the work towards becoming the kind of artist that I see in my head.  Because that girl I totally admire and respect, and can’t wait to meet.  So if you see her wandering around out there in the dark… just remind her to take a deep breath… and get back to work.  I promise I’ll thank you someday!

*[Note to self: Install more RAM in brain]

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By the way…

9 Dec

First of all, because I realize I never came back and officially posted it, and in case you didn’t hear me screaming it from the rooftops. I did win Nano.   This is what I saw when I validated my word count:

And let me tell you, at 4am after several weeks of marathon writing sessions to get caught up, I felt like one.  I even managed to do it with two days to spare.  And you people know I don’t do early.

My life for the next week or so went like this, sleep, read, sleep, read, oh yah, remember to be social:

“So, what did you get for winning?” my family asks.

“Well, er…uh…some badges I can put on my website and well…the pride of actually accomplishing it.”

Blank stares all around.

A few days later.  My mother still isn’t getting it and decides that maybe there is safety in numbers.  She brings it up at the family Tamale Fiesta of 2010 in front of all of my Aunts and cousins.

“So, did you actually finish your novel in November?”

“No, I finished the number of words I needed on my rough draft to win the competition, the story still has a bit left to write and then there’s the editing of course-”

“So, another UNfinished novel.”

Ouch.

I love my mother.  And I know she is proud of me, and in her own quirky way was trying to show me off.  But, the truth always stings a lot.  And the truth is, after I crossed that finish line I didn’t want to write anything for about a week.  Not only that, I had no reason. No one to try and catch up to, nothing telling me I’d be rewarded, however slightly for my efforts, no one to laugh and cry and share my bumps and bruises with.  I was suddenly without a deadline, and without a support system.

So, I buried myself in catching up on my reading and making Christmas lists and moving my novel into a new software program and re-organizing my books and once again managing to procrastinate.  I kept waiting for the guilt to kick in, but it didn’t.  I wasn’t breaking any laws or falling behind or even sure that the novel was worth finishing.

I’m finally starting to come out of my post-NaNo blues.  I actually started working on the project again yesterday. My mother called of course. When she asked what I was doing and I told her, she sounded a bit annoyed.  But the fact is, I’m not writing it for her.  I’m not writing it for anyone.  This is my education in the craft of novel writing.  I’m writing it, so that I can learn how to write a novel. And I’m finishing it because I can, because I need that education, that learning process to continue, and because even if the only person who ever reads it is my ten year old nephew, I will know that I finished it.  And when everyone has gone home, and I’m alone in my apartment, curtains drawn and doors locked;  that will ALWAYS mean something incredible to me.

Writefly up and running…

4 May

My site for writers officially launched today….lots more to do…but the foundation is in place. And no….I am not JUST procrastinating finishing my screenplay! xoxo

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